Zombies are real.

OK, so I know a lot of you think I’m nuts.
I don’t care.
We’ll see who’s laughing when zombies are licking the inside of your skull.

Zombism is caused by the virus Solanum. Solanum works by traveling through the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain.

Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily functions cease. By stopping the heart, the infected subject is rendered “dead.” This process takes anywhere between 5 minutes and 2 hours. At this point, we’re not sure why it varies between individuals. Further research is ongoing, but is limited by the high morbidity rate of researchers.

The rest of the brain, however, remains alive but dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new organ. The most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this all-important resource, the undead brain can utilize, but is in no way dependent upon, the complex support mechanism of the human body. We strongly suspect that this is related to the fact that zombies are not dependent upon ATP production for the creation of muscle movement.

Once mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form that bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original corpse. Some bodily functions remain constant, others operate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely.

This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead.

And it will fuck your day up.

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2 responses to “Zombies are real.

  1. I think you’re nuts.

  2. On the other hand, it seems so possible!

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